National Lampoon's Pledge This: Unrated

National Lampoon's Pledge This: Unrated (2006)
Visual Entertainment
Cast: Paris Hilton
Extras: Featurette, Trailers

A direct-to-DVD release starring Paris Hilton. Whatever that brings to your mind, this movie is it, only worse. Another steaming pile of excrement to be cut loose from the bowels of National Lampoon, "Pledge This" is the latest example of everything that is wrong with contemporary comedy, the youth film, Hollywood commercialism, the power of celebrity, and the direct-to-DVD market. And I do mean EVERYTHING. I had the dubious honor of viewing the unrated, or "naughty," version of this film, which only means it wasted more of my time than the R-rated version would have. By the end of this colossal stink bomb, my mouth stood agape for a seemingly interminable amount of time, and it wasn't because of the gratuitous nudity.

Even if I could find a plot in this mess, I would refuse to dignify it with a decent summary. Basically, Paris Hilton plays a college student (is this supposed to be a fantasy movie?) who spends an hour and a half manipulating everyone in sight and saying, "That's hot." Otherwise, this is just an excuse for an endless array of gross-out jokes – involving a fat girl on an exploding toilet and a dog fellating a frat guy – and tons of topless girls, making this more of a soft-core porn flick than anything else. It is brainless, witless, and a complete waste of time and money. I would say effort, but there isn't any.

Not too long ago, there were stories being reported that Paris Hilton wanted her name removed from this movie (in addition to starring in it, she is also credited as an executive producer) because she felt it would be damaging to her reputation. That this falls below even Paris Hilton's standards should be a telling indication of just how putrid this movie is. It is neither funny nor sexy and should be avoided like the plague.

The video quality on this disc from Visual Entertainment is good, but not spectacular. Presented in anamorphic 1.85:1 widescreen, the picture is sharp, but there is quite a bit of grain for a recent film. Also, the colors are at times so brightly saturated that it appears there may have been some boosting or manipulation. The image even takes on a slightly faded appearance at times. This is certainly not what I would expect from a movie as recent as this one.

The audio fares no better in a Dolby Digital 5.1 mix. Dialogue is sometimes harsh, and the overall sound is flat, much like a mono track. There are no subtitle options.

The screener copy I received contains no extras, which I am grateful for, but I understand that the actual DVD has a making-of featurette and some trailers. Somehow I doubt that I'm missing anything.

In case you haven't pieced it together, I do not recommend this film. Unless you need further proof that Paris Hilton has no talent or charisma, stay away. Now, I know this is the kind of review that will make people want to run out and see this just for kicks, but please heed my warning. This is not the kind of movie that is so bad that it's good. It's just bad. B-A-D. Bad. If you really want to see topless girls, rent a real porn movie. It will probably have a better story and considerably better acting.